Oh man...

So, clearly a lot has happened since my last post, but I'm not even going to go through my usual apologies at this point. I figure whatever readers I do have are coming to expect these periods of blog silence from me, so I'll just continue living up to those awesome expectations. Bring them on!!

Right now I'm sitting in Zilina at our conference table in Kompas, where we usually have our team meetings, listening to some of my favorite music. At this moment a sweet Under the Influence of Giants jam came on and I'm loving it. My brother just wrote about their awesomeness in one of his bloggings, so you should probably skip over there and check it out after you're done with mine. But not before you're done reading mine, because then I'll be offended.

As I'm sitting here I'm realizing how exhausted I am in every since of the word - physically, mentally, and spiritually. This summer has been thus far the most difficult summer I've ever experienced in Slovakia, for a multitude of reasons. And the funny thing is that I knew it would be. Back in April I was praying with 2 of my friends in Bratislava, about the upcoming summer and what it held, and we all received the same thing from God on that afternoon. He told us that yes, this summer would be very difficult for me, but that I was not alone. And this is the truth that I've been clinging to over these past weeks. I'm not alone. He is with me always. And not only is he, but also a host of amazing friends and family that have me in their prayers. Praise God.

But, although this summer has been difficult, there have also been some really sweet moments throughout. Over the next few days I hope to fill you in on those.

South Carolina has never seen this kind of snow...

Sick and Tired.

Part of the reason I didn't write anything in January is because I was sick on and off for weeks. Then, the mother load hit and I was in bed for a week with some nasty mix of a sinus infection and strep throat. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me with doctors for roommates, so I was able to get diagnosed from home and then treated with free antibiotics. Yay for at home treatment!

The weeks prior to this I had been dealing a lot with feeling like I wasn't doing enough here as a "missionary." I call this the missionary guilt. It's this resonating feeling that you need to prove yourself to everyone who is supporting you at home. That you need to have all these amazing stories to write about in your updates, or on your blog, and if not you aren't doing your job. This feeling was coming to a climax right before I got really sick. I hadn't been very healthy all month, which was keeping me home on the couch when I wasn't traveling, which was then making me feel like I wasn't connecting with people in Bratislava, which was then making me feel like I didn't have purpose... and you get the picture. Then came January 26. I had a fully packed schedule here in BA, and I was feeling really good about that... Feeling like I had purpose. But of course, what happens? I wake up sick... again. I was so pissed. I had to cancel most of my meetings on Monday, stayed in bed Tuesday, Wednesday we had our girl's small group, and on Thursday I was supposed to go out of town to visit a youth group and be a part of their Kecy Club. I totally remember telling the girls Wednesday night, "I'm really looking forward to going to Levice tomorrow because I've felt really lazy all week, and this will make me feel like I'm doing something..." And of course I woke up even worse Thursday morning, had to cancel my trip, and was then in bed for 5 days.

During this forced time in bed God began to show me how ridiculous I had been. How I was working for man, working for my salvation... I had totally taken everything into my own hands and was living in fear of other people's judgment. He reminded me how He is the one who called me here, so I should rest in knowing He has a plan and is in total control of it all. It was a much needed wake up call. And although I can't say now that I've totally shed the missionary guilt, it definitely sneaks up from time to time, but I do remember to check myself each day: I am only where I am because of God, to serve and glorify God, not for myself or for men.

A few weeks ago I received this note from my blog:

Hello, Laura. This is your blog speaking. Please update me because many of your friends and family like to read me. If you don't update me, I will be sad as will others. The fate of many of your relationships lie in whether or not you update me, your blog, your outlet to the world. Thank you and have a nice day.

You know, not many people are blessed with a blog who speaks so honestly. Most people's blogs just feed them complements all day long about how awesome they are, but not my blog. My blog keeps it real.

Anywho, I'm sorry dear blog that I have ignored you so for the past 2 months, and therefore have ignored updating many of my friends out in cyberspace. I will try to sufficiently give an update of what has happened these past 2 months in the following few posts. I hope you can forgive me.

Christmas in Slovakia

This year I celebrated my first Slovak Christmas. Last year, I went with Katka to Paris for the holiday, which was super fun, but this year it was nice to stay in Bratislava and be with "family." I spent Christmas with my Slovak family, the Kriska fam, whom I'm incredibly thankful to have in my life here. I first met them in 2005, when I moved in with them for the whole summer. I had no idea then that they would become an integral part of my life, and love looking back at how God has worked through these relationships. Especially my relationship with Noemi. She has definitely become the little sister that I never had. Anyhow, I could keep going, but I'll stop. Basically, just know that this family rocks and are part of what makes my life here in Slovakia so beautiful.

SO, Slovaks do a few things differently at Christmas than we do in the States. For example, their main celebration is on the 24th of December, not the 25th, and many consider this Christmas day. Also, their traditional meal on this day consists of fish - more specifically, carp - and potato salad. As an appetizer to this meal, they eat honey and fresh garlic on top of a big piece of wafer (kind of like Baptist communion wafers). This is for hopes that the next year will be sweet (honey) and healthy (garlic). It wasn't so nasty as one would think, but I didn't go back for seconds. However, the tradition with the carp has to be my favorite. They'll buy the fish, living I might add, a few days before they intend to eat it, and will keep it swimming around in the bathtub until cooking time. This is to insure it is as fresh as possible. I'm bummed that I didn't get a picture of the fishies hanging out in the tub for you, but they were already in the fryer when I arrived on Christmas eve. Sorry to disappoint.

However, I did get plenty of other pics from the night! So here you have it,

The Feast... and you can see some of those carp bones on Noemi's plate. Poor little guys didn't even see it coming.




The Kriskova women checking out Noemi's Christmas gift from her boyfriend:




Isn't Grandma Kriskova (or as they call her, babushka) just too cute?




Tomas sharing some wisdom with me, Jakub, and Noemi:




Gimme those tasty Christmas treats!!




Jakub is amazing on the piano. One of my highs that night was just sitting there in a food induced coma listening to him play.




Ester and I. You have no idea how hospitable this woman is.




That night I stayed at their home, intending to go to church with them the next morning. Unfortunately I woke up with a nasty cold and was instructed to take some meds and get back in bed. When I woke up a few hours later, a full spread of breakfast was prepared and waiting for me right beside my bed. It included orange juice, hot tea, a freshly peeled orange, and a stack of blueberry pancakes - which don't really exist here in SK. The night before Ester had been asking me if we had any special breakfast on Christmas day, and I told her that sometimes we had pancakes, and just mentioned that my mom made some mean blueberry pancakes. That Ester is sneaky! And I don't know how she made that happen - I'm telling you, you can't find pancake mix over here - but the whole thing was truly one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. So, although far from home this Christmas, God certainly made sure that I felt very loved. And I did.